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End of the year has always a strange vibe. Not sure about you but I tend to crave slowing down and reflect specially after busy Christmas period, but as well because the year is ending and willingly or unwillingly I tend to start reflecting on the year just passed.

The slowing down is a form of self-care which is not always fully possible, but day to yourself or only an evening can be something to maybe wanting to carve from your busy time and allow yourself to reflect.

Over many years I have learnt not to give myself new years resolutions. I rather tend to adopt and let go off habits as they come throughout the year. In different times different habits apply, some stick permanently with some breaks and others fizzle away as they’re just not useful anymore or some return after some time.

Problem with new years resolutions is that they rarely stick. It is great to get exited about new exercise routine or different kind of resolutions, but as we all know they rarely pass end of the month January. The problem here is that we often tend to beat ourselves up for not sticking to them and the self-destructive cycle can continue. Specially if our resolutions are aimed at somehow altering and changing ourselves. Another problem often is that we set to ourselves more new year resolutions than we are able to adopt, which leaves us overwhelmed and ultimately not fulfilling any.

This is why what I tend to do and this is not by any means saying it will work for you, but could be inspiration for some, is setting up maximum three goals for the whole year. I might write them somewhere where I can look at it at times and leave it there. Since I have started setting my goals this way unknowingly somewhere in the middle of the year I sometimes realise that two of such or even all three I have actually already achieved. When we look at this approach from psychological point of view by setting up only three goals we are not overwhelming ourselves, but same time we are not giving a message to ourselves that it is not worth it at all as it is just one goal and something very little. By writing them down we are being intentional and as more specific we are it is as well clearer for our minds and thought processes to work towards such goals.

Let me explain. When we undertake a journey of self-awareness we start accessing our authentic self and slowly letting fake and inauthentic parts of ourself go. This creates clearer idea for what we want and where we are heading which by realising we start intentionally or no intentionally work towards.

When I have started running I was nowhere thinking of entering any race, at a time I knew it is helping me feel better and clears my head, so I tried my best to keep going. First years I didn’t get very far but once I reached my first 5k things has started changing. Later first long distance hike came along and farther running races which ultimately helped me recognise that without some form of movement or exercise is just hard to keep going. So first year one of my goal would simply be ‘start running’. I might throw in 5k race run as that can be motivating to work towards, but this might not work for everyone as it can induce as well at a time of starting unbearable anxiety. Running might not be your thing at all and you would rather hike a mountain or sign up for a dance class or start painting. Whatever it is observe your intentions behind it, if it is authentic to you and importantly if it is in your control.

Finding a partner is a great intention, but same time it is quite out of your control if a right person enters your life exactly in upcoming year. This kind of goals might need to be a bit altered and instead of ‘finding a partner’ you might want to join new interest space where you meet new people, try a dating app or let a friend set you up for a date. This way it becomes more achievable and it is mostly up to you to try and do something different instead of waiting and expecting things change on their own.

The good indicator of right goals for you might be really listening to your emotions as they are communicating us something and we usually know what it is we might need to change. One of the goals could be possibly something what brings you joy.