What you feel matters

I was in my 20s when I first time recognized that emotion I feel the pit in the stomach is in fact anxiety. I thought we all have it and it is a normal state of bodily feelings, so I learn to push through the feeling my entire life, without acknowledging, addressing or naming what is happening. Until life circumstances made it to be all a bit too much. That was first time I went to therapy, which led later to my own therapeutic training and towards the career I am in now.

My own personal story is not important though.

The reason I am sharing this is that I did not know how important emotional awareness is. Sometimes we are very self-aware on cognitive level, but we are just not in touch with our own emotions, with our body. Many are just not thought to name and recognize their emotions from very early age.

The whole system our society was built on does not teach children emotional awareness. I correct myself it did not used to…things are changing…thank god. Although another topic would be how ‘emotional’ subjects are being slowly erased to make more space to logical ones, unfortunately.

Where it all started?

Given the complexities of emotions, Robert Plutchik psychologist, who developed the Emotion Wheel to assist people define and name their feelings. He is a founder of theory of emotion, when he first time classified general emotional responses. The awareness itself helps, but he went even farther and proposed that defense mechanisms were in fact manifestations of core emotions.

Nowadays…

Many are still shamed for feeling negative emotions throughout the life and this slowly but steadily builds up our belief system about ourselves and the world. We see the spike in people experiencing depression, anxiety and all sort of others mental health issues. Often those who claim they never experienced these are in fact just not in touch with their own bodies and emotions.

If we learn to listen to our own emotions, when we recognize how we feel in different moments, we might be able to make choices in life which will reflect our values and who we truly are. We might learn to set boundaries if we need to and we might feel less impact of stress in our everyday lives.

We become more authentic and other people can better relate to us, which leads to deeper relationships reflecting our own individual preferences.

I am curious..

Do you remember when you learn naming emotions, if ever?

There is a tool often used by therapists called ‘emotional wheel’ developed by already mentioned Robert Plutchik. I often hear from clients when seeing the wheel for a first time sense of amazement. They did not know there is so many emotions. I often reach for emotional wheel in my personal life as well. After all we all are human and in fact emotions make us so.

I believe that emotional awareness does not belong solely to a therapy room, where people often find themselves when in crises. Recognizing emotions, naming them and being able to address them and communicating them in healthy way, should be a part of our culture, every day life, workplace, in our relationships. It might help us to become a whole human, who might find themselves in crises in different stages of their life, but would be as well more equipped to handle them.

I am including this basic tool here, but can be found anywhere on internet.

In the middle of the wheel you can find basic emotions. The second tire shows a bit deeper emotions behind the basic ones, which language we use sometimes for and the third tire shows even deeper emotions we don’t often recognize they exist or that they are related to the basic ones.

MAKING UNCONSCIOUS CONSCIOUS

For therapists and mental health professionals is subconscious mind fascinating place, source of who we are, what drives us. One of the purposes of therapy is to help us bring subconscious into consciousness.

You might ask why would we want to do that?

Because once subconscious becomes conscious we can decide what we want to do with it, change patterns of our behaviour and decide if how we function, how subconscious drives us functioning serves us or not anymore. Very often we run on autopilot and our autopilot drives believes we have within us about ourselves, about others, about the outside world. We can be reactive or hold strongly negative emotions towards someone/ourselves or the opposite we might feel very connected and close to someone else. Therapy helps to understand these connections and the believes we hold. Sometimes these are creating negative feeling within us and standing in our way, making our life miserable. To understand where our emotions and feelings are coming from we need to understand ourselves and bring some of the unconscious into awareness.

Sometimes this can be painful process, because often our believes are tighed with emotions, which are stored in our bodies for every time we were not allowed to express them. As we start discovering things about ourselves these emotions start to be released and we need to feel them.

Therapy is a place where thanks to bunch of therapeutic tools and a therapeutic relationship these can be released and if needed brought into consciousness in a safe paced manner. There are different types of therapy for different issues, not every therapeutic process works this way as relived past experiences can be sometimes harmful or unnecessary and different direction in therapy is needed.  

Once they are felt they leave our body and won’t drive our autopilot anymore. This might mean that what once you believed about yourself, for example that you are a bad person, because someone told you such thing in the past and you hold them very high (for example a parent, teacher etc.) can be reframed. This believe entered your consciousness, you felt the emotions related to it and now you can reframe the believe to your benefit. This can be done through finding evidence when you were actually a good person. This evidence helps you to reframe believe about yourself.

But that is another story for another day.

In order to begin ‘reframing’ process firstly we need to find out what the believes are. One of the great tools for doing so is intuitive drawing with a purpose. In this article I would like to explain you how to use ‘house floor plan drawing’ as an intuitive symbolic tool to uncover some unconscious believes.  

What you need:

Pencil

A4 paper

Some coloured pencils (optional)

What you do:

Draw a floor plan of your house. This house needs to have 4 rooms – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual room. Now think what is your house like? Draw a floor plan of the house. How many floors are there? Is there a playroom? What rooms apart of the 4 are there?

Once you are done drawing the rooms make a speech bubble for each room and think about what is the purpose of the room, what is inside, what you do inside of each room. Add any objects into the room if you feel as they need to be there.

Don’t read farther until you are done with the exercise!

Unless we go to every room every day even if keep it aired we are not complete person. Is there a room in your house where you live most? How do you feel about it? Is there a room you don’t visit much or never? How does that make you feel? If you have more then one floor are these connected with stairs or somehow? If not how does that feel, why do you think there is disconnection to the rest? If you put playroom in where is it positioned? Is there access from everywhere in the house or just one entrance? Do your rooms have any doors and windows? Is there a hall way? How do the rooms connect to each other? Are there any empty unused spaces? Is there any cupboard and storage? If so how do they make you feel?

Now after thinking about this all…

What would be a title for the floor plan?

Thinking about the process of creation your floor plan you are learning something about yourself. The floor plan represents you and each room is part of yourself. If there are any disconnections you are now aware of them and can start slowly changing it.

If you look at the floor plan now is there anything you would like to change or add?

Once you are done think about how this exercise made you feel? Are there any emotions what need to be felt? What do they connect to? Did your mind wander somewhere? Into any memories while drawing?

Let me know if you learnt anything about yourself doing the exercise? Of course if you feel like you want to share publicly in the comments.

What Masquerade mask revels about you (2. part)

Here comes second part about Masquerade masks. Read this article only if you have done your mask already or you are not interested in the meaning of completed mask.

In this article I am going to mark some main symbols and what to look for once your mask is finished to understand what your subconscious is trying to tell you. Before that I need to tell you one important thing…

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What masquerade mask revels about you? (part 1.)

Looking back I think I was going through some rough times. No aspiration at work, environment felt very hateful, emotionally dried and tired. Does it sound familiar to you?  My world was falling apart and only bright light was craft workshop I was going to on Saturday.

Mindful crafts.

Ideas I could use in my youth work. Workshop ´mindful crafts for children´ happened to be therapeutic session for myself.

First crafty idea was masquerade mask. I remember that day I came home relaxed and fulfilled. I did finally something meaningful for myself.

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When use this craft making?

You can use this therapeutic craft whenever you want and feel. It is great way how to relax and cope once you feel anxious. It can help you to stop overthinking and just be present in the moment. It is great when you feel no motivation, sadness because again it takes your focus to something creative and away from your thought process.

It makes you present.

You can use it as tool to better understand yourself because the way you create your mask will let you uncover a little bit more about yourself. This step is not necessary though because process of making the mask is much more important.

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Do arty exercise every week and this will happen

Artherapy - articles - headlines (1)Mindful art…

Art exercises…

But I am NOT artistic!

Why should I do them at all??

Last time I have mentioned that doing arty exercises can shift a little (or a lot) our perception.

The reason is that through these kind of exercises we let our right site of the brain talk. Usually the society we live in demands use of our left site of the brain, which is analytical, logical, scientific, numeric, solutions oriented, memorising and so on. The right site unless we are artistic oriented or we do something creative is often abandoned.

Peter is highly motivated analytical manager who used to be a heart of the company. Everybody found him to be very responsible and felt motivated by him.

But now everything changed.

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